you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
Randomize
