I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
We got so high we made milksteak
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
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