'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
Randomize
