If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
Randomize
