I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
i came on her dog
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
I found this letter on my leg this morning "dear sober self- we are one body now. It's weird but get used to it because it already happened" who the fuck is lionman?
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
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