Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize
