I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
Randomize
