the new term for farting is butt boxing.
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
You know I told you about that hammering at 3 AM yesterday? Turns out it was Holly beating the lock out of her door with a mallet because she'd forgotten her keys.
Doesn't she keep a spare?
Drunk Holly doesn't listen to Sober Holly's plans.
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
Real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch buck Rodgers in Tuesday.
Jesus Christ you're perfect.
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
Randomize
