It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
babies were throwing up all over the place
Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
There are leaves in my underwear?
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
Randomize
