halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
Randomize
