Haym$ered
turn off your phone and go to bed
He told me they were just razor bumps!
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
Randomize
