God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
Randomize
