oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
Randomize
