Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
Got a snapchat from Megan last night showing you sobbing about a burrito on the floor with Dan in the background trying not to laugh his ass off
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
God I need to hump something, right now.
Randomize
