I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
Randomize
