Already got asked if we're dating
Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
Randomize
