I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
Randomize
