Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
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