i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
Randomize
