Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
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