things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
Randomize