Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize
