i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
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