i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
Randomize
