i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
That's the last time you call me to prove to some girl at a bar that you're English. It's bad enough that you actually get to fuck them because of it without having to wake me up to seal the deal.
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
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