I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
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