I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
Randomize
