no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
Randomize
