Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
So I'm drunk playing pool in a bar with a guy I arrested last week for a DUI...if he recognizes me, shit's gonna get real.
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
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