cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
The chlamydia really affected his face.
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
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