I wannas sexs uuuuu
you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
Someone shattered a urinal.
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
Dave called me blind fucking drunk thinking he was going to die from drinking with drake bell(wtf?) saying "it's all that drake motherfucker's fault" and later proceeded to tell me "you are my twitter"
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
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