dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
Randomize
