you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
I am mentally ready for anal.
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
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