It's like God shit irony all over that family
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
Best part of being a cop: When I showed up at Thanksgiving with stitches in my head I could tell them I was "protecting and serving" not "drinking and falling down". Career validated.
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
Randomize
