You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
Randomize
