i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
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