I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
