I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
Randomize
