I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
Did you like my voicemail? Sounded like I was being murdered, right?
By a pack of ravenous dildos
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax?
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
Randomize
