the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
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