How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
Randomize
