Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
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