Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
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