Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
