I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
we should paint friendship bongs
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
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