don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
I was going to ask the people in the kitchen to keep the volume down, but they're cooking pasta at 3 AM and one complimented me on my polka-dot nightgown. They're high. No volume control.
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
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