How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
Randomize
