No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
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