yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
Randomize
