gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
If the guys trying to booty call text me could see me right now in some raggedy pajamas with toothpaste down the front of my shirt eating pepperoni out of the package they might change their minds
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
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