How do you jack off and text at the same time?
On my iPhone they have an app for that
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
Randomize
