she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
Such a big mess for such a small penis
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
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