You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
Randomize
