I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
A 'Bear Fight' is a car bomb followed by a Jaeger bomb. Fuckface and I do those on slow days. Tonight, we did a 'Polar Bear on Fire'. Fireball, a bear fight in the middle, and end with rumple minze.
I made friends at the beach bars tonight. Several were worried for my well being.
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
Randomize
