the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Randomize
