I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
you mean i was at the winter classic?
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
Randomize
