New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
Brought him brownies before taking his pants off. I'm like the Martha fucking Stewart of booty calls. Walk of shame be damned.
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
Randomize
