he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
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