we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
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