fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
i used baking grease as lip gloss
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
My Tinder date from last night is my Uber driver for tonight's Tinder date...neither of us said a word.
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
Randomize
