Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
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