32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
I still have that dildo-suction bruise on my forehead and this sweater STILL smells like my Christmas Eve vomit.
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
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