Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
Apparently this establishment won't let you rent a sailboat if you have been drinking rum all morning
Like, bro, how do you think I got the idea to go sailing
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
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