There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
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