Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
Randomize
