its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
Randomize