yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
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