I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
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