The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
Randomize
