if your leaving for the weekend then im farting on your pillow
I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
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