Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
I'm going to rape someone's good day.
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
Randomize
