Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
Randomize