Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
Randomize
