In the future we'll all be gay
Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
