I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
TSA literally pulled two bottles of whiskey out of my bag. Once he saw the leopard print socks and the mickey mouse tank, he put it back in my bag and said "Have a fun trip, man."
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
Who put my cat in the fridge?
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
Randomize
