Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in itâ€
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
Randomize
